I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize