you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
