And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
