I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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