Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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