I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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