Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
