Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
