I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
