What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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