So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
