I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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