You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
