i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
