i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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