your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
