Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize