please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
