omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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