I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
