I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
