So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
