Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
