did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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