she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm like, not good at living.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
