I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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