just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
