very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
