he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
