Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He felt like a one man threesome
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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