woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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