did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
