So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
