so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
