My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Can i not drive my cunt home
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
