birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
please don't ironically join a cult
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