Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
