It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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