Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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