Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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