Got a toothbrush?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
