Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
