Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
