I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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