Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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