Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
