1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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