doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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