So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
