WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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