Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
