listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
