Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
