I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
