He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
