smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
