I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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