WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
